what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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