i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
