Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
