I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
