the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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