He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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