i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
