in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
