i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
