Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
