Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
