We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
