I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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