oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
