I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
