need another drink. this is the easiest way
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
