I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
