Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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