I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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