I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
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