All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
40s are totally the cure
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
