i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
