Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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