its not stalking. its research.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
