69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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