So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
