I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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