Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
