idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
