We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
