I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
