Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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