Midget sex pt 2 tonight
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
