New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I think I sprained my soul last night
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
