At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
