This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
