Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
