quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
