check it out our google latitudes are spooning
one two three fourrrrnication!
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
