in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
