is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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