I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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