Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
