my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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