Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
