whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
