By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
