I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
