Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
