im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i now understand why vodka
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
